I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
