I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
