It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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