Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
