I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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