I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
