Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize