that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it because I queefed?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
