Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
