my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize