Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
