Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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