You're my little dorito
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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