from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
