Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
