It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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