3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
