My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if only i could text you this smell
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
