There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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