forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
