john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
