Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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