He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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