You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My balls are so social today.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
