You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
MIDGETS
????
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize