chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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