And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
