Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
