Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
