Me too!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
