My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
