He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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