i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
