I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
