We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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