I just saw a hot homeless man
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
