We won't sleep together?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize