How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
