i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
