Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
