never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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