If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize