Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
