The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She said her name was "party"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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