just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
