She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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