Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
