She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize