i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
