I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
