Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
