why didn't you poke me back
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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