first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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