You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
