I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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