You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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