Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
