While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
