hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
