There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
tell me about the eggs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
