I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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