I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
