If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
