She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
