dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
