Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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