Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
