So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
