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My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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