Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize