After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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