So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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