physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
