You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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