i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
