There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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