He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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